K-Ferr

New Blog

2010-03-16T10:39:00.001-05:00

I started a new blog today. Future posts will live at: ConversActioning.Blogspot.com

See you there!

2008-09-12T20:14:00.002-05:00

Change. Change is good. Not the money kind...the life kind.

My sister Jen earned her Ph.D. today. That is a good change.
My friend Laura took a new job this week. That is a good change.
I have friends beginning careers, ending careers, transitioning careers. These are all good changes. But what about me?

Nine years and three business quarters with one company. That's where I am. So if change for the sake of change is bad, yet change is good, I'm not sure where I fit.

So I got my hair cut. I'll start with that and see where it takes me!

Perhaps change is best handled in layers?

But you'll have to wait for photos...I don't have any yet.

Summer Shower's

2008-06-22T22:19:00.010-05:00

An early Summer shower. Tonight while sitting in my (still) new hearth room, I was on the computer with the deck doors and windows open and talking to a friend on the phone. The rain started and it is such a tranquil sound to me. Lately in the Midwest we've been having downpours and thunderstorms, and the chance to listen to raindrops splashing on the deck tonight was musical.

My favorite time to listen to evening rain showers is when I'm at our cottage in Canada. The cedar shingles receive the raindrops and transfer the music to those of us in the cottage, and the sound is one of my favorites. You can also always hear the waves either lapping or crashing on the beach a hundred or so yards away, like the purcussion or baritone section. Random windchimes from the cottages add an occasional and mystical melody. There truly is nothing better. When I'm stuck in landlocked Missouri, I'll recall the sounds of those waves when I can't sleep and channel that rhythmic lullaby. I'll be back in August to yet again be reminded by the fact that my memories don't do these sounds justice.

And then....

Then there are the nights like the 2006 "All About Us" party at Diane's cottage when it was a full-blown storm...and we all braved the elements and showed up. Laurie and I looked like a couple of drowned puppies when we got there. We were drenched to our skins, despite rain gear. That held up quite poorly under the horizontal rain the wind was pushing at us. So we laughed and giggled and splashed our way to Diane's. Our arrival was just in time to help stem the floods of water entering her cottage that was being literally pushed under door jams and overflowing full window ledges...right onto her floors. Before long there wasn't a dry towel in the place, then the rain slowed, more girls showed up, then the rain stopped and the rest of them showed up...and for a while it was "all about" Kelly and Laurie walking the furthest and in the worst of the storm. But after a while it was "All About Us" - the beach girls of Inverhuron enjoying ourselves. We ate and drank and danced and talked and shared silly stories and made wonderful memories - and plan to do it all again. 2008 will be the fourth such event. I'm already looking forward to it!

Red Belt

2008-06-08T12:58:00.004-05:00

The martial arts have always been a bit of a mystery to me. When I worked at the Rec Center, there was a Tai chi class offered, that always sounded like it would be perfect for me. But I didn't have time to slow down that much! Now as a Mom, I'm experiencing Wu Shu Chinese Martial Arts through Jack and Lindsey. And last week Jack tested for and received his red belt in Wu Shu. It was quite an occasion. He has been through two sessions of the class and has just started his third. Lindsey has just started her second and will test for a belt the next time around.

One of my favorite things about the kids being in martial arts is when they come home and become the instructors - and teach me how to do the moves. And another favorite was this shocker: The kids and I were shoe shopping for Lindsey one day. This can be an ordeal, and Jack at one point said "I'm getting frustrated! I need to meditate." And he sat down in the middle of the aisle, crossed his legs, relaxed his arms and closed his eyes. A few minutes later he got up and joined us again - - and he was far less frustrated! Which meant I had a better experience that day as well. I'm sure there are some ancient masters I should be thanking somewhere!

Here are some photos from Jack's big day. Each student had to enter the room and perform their standard moves from memory and then do a complete routine choreographed to show off the moves and motions they have been studying. He did great!

Lake Michigan in May

2008-05-26T10:35:00.008-05:00

Be open to the world around you, the possibilities and the people...and you never know where you'll end up.

My family and I were on that kind of a journey this Memorial Day weekend, when with just a few days' notice, we were packed and driving to the southeastern shores of Lake Michigan with Larry and Colleen Cox. Larry and I work together. Larry's sister has a summer home in Michigan and we were invited to use her house for the weekend.

It was beautiful. (And the lake was nice too!)

Thank you Larry, Colleen and Patricia! We had a wonderful time relaxing, walking on the beach, collecting rocks, napping, playing games, watching hockey, eating really good food, drinking really good wine, talking, talking and talking!

Perspective, and a bit of history

2008-05-25T23:18:00.007-05:00

In 1991, I was at the staff retreat for the Southern Illinois University-Carbondale Student Recreation Center supervisor and management staff lead by one of the best leaders I've worked for. He was the director at the time - J. Michael Dunn. Mike is a truly great leader and a truly good man. And he loved the students - all of us. He lives and breathes student development and I was the recipient of his care and attention for years. I never doubted his confidence. And he was rewarded with loyalty, conviction and passion in his team. One of the things we did during this particular staff retreat was take a moment to reflect. And pause. And consider our destinations. We'd spent two days together. Mike turned the lights down in the lodge we were using, talked to us a little while about what we had accomplished in terms of team building, trust, and relationships. And then he played this song.

Garth Brooks - The River: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI2D0Vfbmxw&feature=related

I've had the incredible good fortune to have my toes in the Caribbean Sea, the Atlantic Ocean and Lake Michigan in the past two weeks. So I suppose it is fitting that this song came back to me tonight.

This week I'll be in a staff retreat with my current team. What can I offer them? As part of the leadership team, what can I do to best help them grow? And how do I help them choose to chance the rapids?

The River

Written by: Garth Brooks, Victoria Shaw

You know a dream is like a river, ever changin' as it flows. And a dreamer's just a vessel that must follow where it goes. Trying to learn from what's behind you and never knowing what's in store makes each day a constant battle just to stay between the shores.

And I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry. Like a bird upon the wind these waters are my sky. I'll never reach my destination if I never try, so I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.

Too many times we stand aside and let the waters slip away, 'til what we put off 'til tomorrow has now become today. So don't you sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied. Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide.

Yes I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry. Like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky. I'll never reach my destination if I never try, so I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.

And there's bound to be rough waters And I know I'll take some falls. But with the good Lord as my captain, I can make it through them all.

Yes I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry. Like a bird upon the wind these waters are my sky. I'll never reach my destination if I never try, so I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry. Yes, I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry. 'Til the river runs dry.

Friends

2008-05-25T23:02:00.003-05:00

I have to feel sorry for people who don't have friends in their lives the way I am lucky enough to have friends in mine. And I am specifically sorry for people who don't know my friends...because they are some of the best people in the world.

I have friends who laugh with me, feed me, humor me, raised me, inspire me, love me, encouage me, believe in me, grow with me, know me, get me, tolerate me, cry with me, drink with me, cook with me, travel with me, work with me, play with me, edit me, live with me, sail with me, lead me, challenge me, sing with me, listen to me, talk to me and dream with me.

I am lucky. I am blessed.

I can't list you all here - I'd forget someone. But your fingerprints are on my heart and I feel you.

What is the price for friendship? What does it cost me to have these amazing women and men in my life? Sometimes it costs you the friendship. Sometimes it costs you proximity. Sometimes it costs you tears. Sometimes it costs you time. But I can tell you this - and I deeply believe this to be true - true friendship is always, always worth it. Promise.

Because if the friendship is true...really true...those costs - they don't feel like costs.

How many people have touched your heart this week? Me?, I lost count.

(and undertow is now spelled correctly in a previous post!!)

Pain in the neck

2008-05-22T21:36:00.003-05:00

So right this second, I have a knot in the scapular area of my right shoulder. It's been there all day and I've been kneading at it off and on throughtout my Thursday. It's hard for me to attribute a pain in the neck to any one thing...there are many potential stressors out there.

Maybe it's family? The kids end their school year tomorrow, yet we have the summer scheduled and the world's nicest nanny returning to our house this year. My siblings are all doing well - my parents are all doing well - my inlaws are all doing well.

Mabye it's work? Things are always a little crazy in the world of being a consultant. There should be an equation to sum this up....How about this:

demand x priority level
________________ = Results
resources - time

Yep. That seems to sum it up.

Gravitas

2008-05-13T12:42:00.008-05:00

May 13, 2008

The Romans rewarded gravitas as it was synonymous with dignity, seriousness and duty. The root of the word is Latin, yet the meaning in Latin refers to weightiness.

My stroll for shells along the Eleuthera beach this morning at low tide caused me to think of the gravity, or the weight, of the waves tugging at my legs as I walked in the rolling surf. The waves rolled forward as they sought to regain the beach they had abandoned the hour before. The shoreline of the island sometimes hindered their quest as they hammered into each other at times where rocks and beach dared to jut forward into the water. With a strong current, there is always a heavy undertow, yet it took a wave to nearly knock me over before I truly started paying attention to them.

And in my comtemplative state, it occured to me that the words we expose ourselves to and the words we choose to use often have this same rythm to them. How often do we carelessly throw out our words into the vast stream of language around us trying to gain a bit more ground? How often do we measure or assess their impact? How often do we fail to realize if we have nearly, or effectively, knocked someone off her feet as with a blow?

Last year at my company we had to come up with a "quote" to put at the end of our bio write-ups on our Web site. Mine used to state in all its boring simplicity and frankness: "I specialize in being a generalist." Which is true. Jane of all trades, master of none was sort of the intent. I thought clients would understand I can come in, bring strategy to bear on any number of needs they have, compile a team and execute their results. To a certain extent, it worked, and I still describe myself in those terms, but I changed my bio.

Now my bio says "You can't see the ripples when you are the rock. The words we choose make an impact, so choose carefully." It is sort of a spin on a turn of phrase one of my colleagues said: "carefully chosen words are the tools of my profession."

Our words do have impact. Our words have gravitas. And our words should be chosen carefully.

Now for poetic justice, I should have written my quote to be about shells - as it was shelling on the beach today that reminded me of these impacts. And it was the intermittent forays into the ethernet to check emails that brought that point a bit closer to home.

To those of you wading through ripples or surf, either figuratively or literally, walk in peace, and let the gravity keep your feet on the ground of truth.

(And no. I have not been drinking.)

Eleuthera Day 2

2008-05-12T06:24:00.008-05:00

May 11, 2008

The concept "another day in paradise" doesn't quite do this place justice, as it's filled with contradictions. The calm of the Atlantic belies the strength that is there. The beauty of the beach seems to almost mock the poverty and scrappy livings people earn around here. The kindness of the people who live here is a joy to experience yet their lives are not easy ones, by anyone's terms.

Sunday I walked down the steps to the beach and found I had the place to myself. That is surreal -- to be in one of the most beautiful places I've been, alone. Through the course of the day, I saw a total of eight people along the bay where I was daydreaming. And I'm related to two of them! I took some photos to give you a bit of the 360 on the place.

Last night we went out for dinner at a restuarant called Sunset, that sits on the Caribbean side of the island in a town called Governor's Harbour. The history of the Bahamas is quite interesting. The Queen has designated some land as "common" and the people here can choose a spot to live on and take care of that then becomes theirs. It might take someone eight years to build a house, because they don't have mortgages. Yet everything has to be paid for in cash, so as cash comes in they may buy a palette of concrete (cinder) blocks; they may pay for the stone for the foundation; they may buy the first two windows. There are some lovely neighborhood homes that can be proximate to houses in any stage of development.

There are also developers working on condos and homes for those who are among the "haves" and they obviously go up much faster.

Here's a photo of me and my Mom on Mother's Day at the Sunset restaurant. I can't remember the last time I spent Mother's Day with my Mom. What a treat. And thanks to Skype, we both got to talk to all our kids that day as well!!

WOMMA Day 1

2008-05-10T22:50:00.003-05:00

May 8, 2008

WOMMA WOMMU Conference 2008.

It's Miami! The conference was interesting and attracted some very cool people. I wish I had learned more from the content. The presentations were either stilted, had technological challenges periodically, or the breakout sessions would just be getting interesting, and it was time to change again.

So the event finally got fun and conversations started to flow at the happy hour. So did the Mojitos!

The Intercontinental Hotel was beautiful!

Robin (left) and Lisa (right) were fun for Larry and I to hang out with, then I made Lisa tolerate my company for the next two days...but Gilligan was back in Flagstaff, so seriously, what else would she do?

Dinner that night, we saved a place at the table for AJ and raised our glasses to his Mom, since he couldn't be with us.

Eleuthera Day 1

2008-05-10T22:02:00.000-05:00

May 10, 2008

Greetings from the Bahamas! More specifically I'm on the island of Eleuthera in the village of Palmetto Point. I'm here with my parents (Mom and Lynn) and just flew in to the tiniest airport ever! So I have some photos to share of views from my bedroom window, the airplane window, their condo and a beach party! Well - they didn't throw a beach party for me. The village is celebrating its Homecoming this weekend and there was a huge bar set up, a stage with a band and lots of people enjoying food and activities. It was great for people watching!

And after spending two days in Miami at the WOMMA conference, I feel compelled to actually blog! Who knew?

Here are the photos!
K-Ferr out!